UPDATED 16 MAY!!!

Heres my (RPGS's) Ameth III that I finished last year.It is just my second game, so theres dozen things that I need feedback on, so I can fix it! Too bad I finished it, becasue it'll be harder to fix things then. I haven't released this earlier, so there will be tons of stuff to fix, but just feedback and comment :) Also I am willing to remake the whole fucking game if you really think it that bad!


Story
A long time ago, there was a tribe known as Ferisha . Their greatest goal was to find a powerful Sword of Star, with it they could have the ultimate protection and weapon against enemy tribes. One day when they were on a pilgrimage, they found one in a deep cave .So they took the Sword of Star back to Ferisha, the home of Ferisha Tribe. Now all they´ve fought for had come to an end.They had the ultimate protection and weapon of magic they've searched for.But later the war against Xados Tribe begun, it was the enemy tribe of Ferisha Tribe. They wanted to fight only to take Ferisha´s Sword of Star, so they could use the ultimate weapon to conquer all surounding Tribes and gain eternal glory.The chaosin times begun and Fersiha Tribe must do everything to stop Xados Tribe from getting their Sword of Star. Aeons became mediators of this chaosin times and Xados Tribe had something they held secret to the rest of the world.Ferisha Tribe mustcast The Sword of Star cosmosout, because it was to dangerous to keep, as it held greater magics than they expected. Magics who easily could kill without any warning...

There was a foren empire known as Neox Empire who had highly advance magics and Aeons. They lived in another world, seemingly invisible to the eye. Their goal was also to find Ferisha's Sword of Star, who could fullfill any wish they ever desired. For example to conquer all major worlds, and to destroy all planets the empire saw as unholy.

At the same time two warriors, Ferrair and Sivill has heard a strange rumour that Star Angel (See Ameth I) has returned. It is the sister of Nova Angel who they fought 3 years ago.

Now they're going to the Crazaan Capital, the world's center to ask the controlling parties if this is true.They get to know that this is true and so they must get out and find Star Angel to kill her forever. When they're out there, they meet
Ferisha Tribe who tries to fight against the powerful Neox Empire, at the same time as they will destroy the Sword of Star. And so joins Ferrair and Sivill the Ferisha Tribe in the struggle against the great universal kingdom of Neox Empire...

Characters
Party Characters:

Ryghar

A girl who lives among the Ferisha Tribe and who somehow was stunned and changed. When she and her childhood friend Magnah discovered The Sword of Star and how dangerous it was, they swore to seek the Northen Oracle to learn what has happened to them.
CLASS : Mage AGE : 17 STARTING LV : 1 (Playable character!)

Magnah

Another member of Ferisha Tribe. He and Ryghar always played hide-and-seek in their childhood. But as The Sword of Star was discovered and strange necromancers began to attack, he was changed to the more scared person. He has always been the one who hates Xados Tribe the most, since his mother were killed by a member of Xados. CLASS : Sholar AGE : 18 STARTING LV : 3

Ascal

This young boy came to Ferisha when he was only 9 years old. He ran away from the dark horses who attacked him. He has never told anyone of Ferisha Tribe where he came from, but he was taken into the tribe because of his high knowledge in fighting, even if he was very young. That was three years ago, now he is 12 years old and best friend with Ryghar and Magnah.
CLASS : Warrior AGE : 12 STARTING LV : 2

Xerio

A phoenix of foren mountains somewhere. His city was burned up by the Neox Emperor. When Ferisha founds him and asks him to guide them to Crystal City, he joins them on their dangerous task to destroy The Sword of Star.
RACE & CLASS: Phoenix AGE : 460 STARTING LV: 8

Ferrair

A young boy who lives in Amaril City who lost his mother in a ancient war...One day he found the Ice Crystal by a misstake and become a Warrior of Light. He fought Zarx and Nova Angel three years ago (Ameth I) and has returned because of a rumour that Star Angel has returned..
CLASS : Warrior AGE : 15 STARTING LV : 25 (Playable character!)

Sivill

Ferrair`s dear friend who lives close to him in Amaril City. When she knew the chaos of the world, she accompanied Ferrair to find the God Crystals.She and Ferrair went straight to The World Government when they heard the rumour of Star Angel’s rebirth. They want to figure out if it really was true..
CLASS : Mage AGE : 16 STARTING LV : 28
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
Other Characters:
Summoner Xeohra

A high-summoner at Athorin Temple on the planet Yptilonn. He has tried to defeat the black dragon there for ages. But his skills in summoning isn’t enough to kill the beast. Xeohra is often kind, but he always have some dark secret, so you can never know this Summoner wholy.

Neox Emperor

A powerful Aeon who controls the mighy Neox Empire in outer space. They might not be very mighty, but with the help of the Emperor’s magic, The Neox Empire can summon mighty crystals and fight with them. The Emperor seek for the Sword of Star. Thus with it he will fullfill the Neox Empire’s many desires and destroy all unholy worlds..
Batal

A man from the Crusaders of Athorin Temple on planet Yptilonn. The crusaders were sent out because the monsters who was spawned into the world by the Neox Emperor. The Crusaders went out to defeat these fiends.

SCREENSHOTS

Ameth III (1.2) Trailer:


DOWNLOAD FULL-VERSION - AMETH 1.2:
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=D1INEMQ5

The Program is 122 MB But works often anyway! Plz tell me if there is any problems with downloading and/or extracting!

As you may know I'm not the best Game maker out there, I quite make it for fun, even if I do the best I can.
Plz give me feedback and point out whats bad in the game/topic. :)

//Robin Andblom 2009-2010

Please say something. Feedback? Critique? Good Things? Bad Things?

Did you seriously record your game footage using a digital camera pointed at the screen... lol

Er....Yeah. Ok how else to do it. Please comment the game. Not the trailer (if not nessecary)

There's no poll option 'It's still as bad as the others'
Seriously though, why do you insist on using those horrible tilesets? Your mapping on the RTP mountains map isn't that bad (I mean, theres loads of errors, and it still needs improving, but I've seen worse). But then you have those horrid mix of god knows what images that were never meant for tilesets. I honestly can't tell what any of them are meant to be. Also, give up on the cliche storylines with massive casts of characters. What I would suggest is start making some small game possibly with the RTP in the Casual Project's board and work on improving your story skills and your mapping. And your tileset skills. Just don't make another Ameth.

Actually I already know that I shall not make another Ameth. Because new titles/games allover can give me both a new chance and a better rumour. The problem is that I actually did this game for 1 and a halph year ago, so I only wanted to post it. Also I actually didn't make them in order, you know this already, thats also why the mapping is looking the way it is, the first time I made my own tileset could have used some more time! The meaning with the whole Ameth series was to make an adventure ofa STORY. See this IS and will remain wierd. Now I am trying to make a GAME STORY insthead and not only a story, as these games where made on :(. This is not an escape but it is the truth. Its a fact.

I couldn't simply fulfill my "stories" as I wished to. Because I am a good storywriter, the gamemaking isn't as good. Thats how it is! But really I hop I haven't wasted time in this? The graphic may be bad, but its still a pretty good game with 13+ Hours of Gameplay! Also I am being personal..

Don't misunderstand it here. I still want feedback!!! I am just saying that it wasn't nessecary to post this game from me 8as you can see)..

Well, if you're not looking for critisism, why did you post it? :S It's not like you're going to edit it, you said so yourself.

I still want feedback!!! I am just saying that it wasn't nessecary to post this game from me..
well yeah Im gonna edit the things you say, but maybe not today! But I will still come up someday with all your peoples feedback! You people decide, as always, wether something is bad or good! Haha

I still have Creation of Planets as a Ameth game. But that will not be count as a "bad" AMeth game, because I have already worked with it in 1 year and I am going to contiune, also post a demo so I can use all your feedback to make the game YOU want. You know I will never give up. But I will start in a new edge!

I would like to point to your signature AND your game.

This is not a good example for your resume if you want to get hired and stuff.

Firstly, its cliched.

K, I think I'll go to the details :E.

Why is everyone looking for a sword? It's in a zillion games already ( Ok Secret of Mana not a zillion games but still... )

Next:

Oh noes we comins from another dimension and r gonna seek teh SWORDZ.

Also, seeking the sword is not enough.

They must collect the swords like DIAMONDS, yes, gathering all the swords like diamonds in the FF series.

Why are we having a 17 year-old protagonist finding a sword somewhere again?

Hmm, I'm guessing you just cut out from Secret of Mana and put it in this game?

Hrmmmmmmm?


OFF TOPIC:
OH SO YOUR RPGS, GOOD TIMES MAN!

Also, Dark Evil Dictator.

I HAVEN'T copy and pasted. I haven't even played Secret of Mana. Don't know what it is but, yes ofc I have been inspired by FF games :(

Dark Dictator?

Ahahaha, you took the copy and pasted things SERIOUSLY?

Wow man. Just. Wow.

Anyways on to your dark dictator question:



OH NO CLICHEFEST!

@King of Hearts: This is a serious forum after all, everything should be taken seriously.
Here are my opinions:
Story : I don't give a damn about the story. It's the details that matter, and how you interpret it.
Gameplay: Haven't played the game, so I'm not much help here.
Graphic: The Mapping that you done with the default tilesets are nice, but other things that you added are not compatible at all.
They look very bad.

@King of Hearts: Yeah this forum (as all others) are SERIOUS! I dont care bout you, your sick :P

@Blackedin77: Thank You, ok, yeah but please play the game and then return, much easier to give feedback then :)

hey King of Hearts chill out man

I get what you're saying but out-and-out mocking the guy isn't gonna accomplish much y'know

criticism is good but cut down on the capering hooting jester thing you have going on

Thank You, Mawk, its not the best way giving critique the way King is doing :P

Feedback tiems! :D

NB: Spaces come after periods. See? When a sentence ends, throw in a space. Like this. <-space
It makes reading a zillion times easier. Also, stop using accents as apostrophes. ´` = accent, ' = apostrophe.
It's passé the mix up punctuation. ;)

Another thing: do not respond to my questions. Edit the story and character bios and screens instead of explaining! A random dude isn't going to bother reading the whole thread before deciding whether your game is worth downloading.

Story

Who are "they"? Is Ferisha a tribe or a place? What kind of a tribe is it? Why do they want that sword? What makes it so desirable, anyway? How did they find the sword, anyway?

What kind of a tribe is Xados?

Why?

Why mustn't Xados get the sword? What the feck are Aeons? Why is the sword too dangerous to keep? Chaosin times? How does one "return a sword to cosmos"?

Neox? That name makes me think of a laundry detergent, but maybe it's just me... Anyway, what? First there are tribes and then suddenly there's this megaempire that has control over whole planets? How do they manage that? Forget Star Wars for a moment. How does one get control of several planets? Planets with differing flora and fauna I can technically see if there are lots and lots of Neoxians, but do they have control over planets with civilized species? If they do, HOW?

Ehehehee. If they're invisible and in another dimension... Do they have their controlled planets in the another dimension as well? How does a wish-fulfilling sword even work? Does it give you material possessions if you with for them? Skills? Plastic surgery? Where did these swords come from, anyway? Why make several? Who would make such swords? Why don't the Ferisha use the sword to wish Xados into a bunch of squishy bedbugs or a potato salad or something else incapable of stealing a sword? Why do the Neox want the rest of the swords as well? In fact, shouldn't they only focus on that one particular sword so that they could then just handily wish for the rest of the swords?

Haven't played Ameth I. Who are these characters and why should I care about them?

Where's this place? In fact, how do the places relate to each other? So far you have the tribes/areas Ferisha and Xados, the Neox dimension, the Neox planets and the Crazaan Capital, which is supposed to be the centre of all this... And who are the "controlling parties"? If you want to say Ferisha, Xados and Neox sans explanation I'll whip you with a wet noodle.

Nice getting to know you - I just learned something new! :D What's a Star Angel? Why should she be killed?

I thought the Ferisha were battling the Xados and the Neox were in their own dimension. And, um. A kingdom of an empire? You do know what those are, right? Put simply, a kingdom is a monarchical state ruled by a king, whereas an empire is usually ruled by an emperor/empress(/czar etc.). Why are the Ferisha battling the Neox instead of using the sword, anyway?

Summa summarum, I think this story needs a lot of work in order to work.

Characters

WTH who is this? You didn't even mention her in the story! How do the teens find out about the sword? What's a Northen Oracle?
What's Ryghar like? You gave her no personality whatsoever - "stunned and changed" doesn't cut it.


What necromancers?
Again, no personality. So he's a coward? Filled with hate? Anything more?

What... Dark horses? Where did the kid come from? Where'd he learn his fighting skills?


What's he like? Why does he join the group? Why did the emperor burn up his city? Do phoenixes have cities?


Where's Amaril City? What ancient war? The one between Ferisha and Xados? What's he like? Was he seriously only twelve years old when he founght the Star Angel? O.O

What about her personality?

And what the... World Government? How does that work? Where is it? Does it govern the whole world? What world? What about the Neox dimension? Why are Ferisha and Xados fighting if they're under the same government?

Mapping
Read it, learn it, love it. You should learn how to use the tilesets before even starting a bigger project. Make sure to check the Screenshot and Mapping Improvement threads as well.
And get rid of the godawful "futuristic" tileset, the one with pink and orange palm trees.

If you say tl:dr, I'll whip you with a wet noodle. I spent time typing this, so you can spend time reading it, you know. ;)

Ofcourse Ofcourse. Yeah I suppose the story layout is quite bad :P need to explain more. I'll just fix it! Please read the updated first post then! :)

K I'll chill down.

But I have to point out that REQUOTING MOST OF THE POSTS because you want to reply to them ( especially the above post ) makes this page LOOOONG and hard to read, just so you know.

Yeah thank you! Ok I will unqoute them :)

I must admit. I am SOO bad in character personality. So no dont hate tow rite what you wrote! :P

I read the story, and I just don't know where the heck is ameth 1 but I'd rather not look at it, people would be more interested if you didn't bother to re-type some explanations on characters and stuff unless the game is all the rage or something, but that almost never happens around this forum to anyone... The mapping is square and it looks like you've abused the tiles, but the base mountains would be a good map for an ABS congratz on that. The tiles do not match the rtp so try to just go and stay with the starry night panorama. Also I was reading your signature, and honestly, you wouldn't hired you until you practice you story writing first. When creating a game, if it isn't very successful then don't try and make a sequel. Also I never get those things, I've always thought the leader of the game is the one who made the story in the first place, ah well.

There are also small tid-bit things you can do to improve your game and maybe lighten up your criticism, and might but people a lot.
1. Try to be consistent, the characters should be facing one way with the same color background.
2. The title screen has to have meaning, not just some cool picture of something totally random.
3. When you make sub titles to separate sections, change the font size to Large
That's about it, good luck on your project, and also, if you like the story concept then the best thing to do is re-write it and change things that are cliche redo it all if you must, or just start all over, and the popular games that inspire everyone, if you make a game off of those ideas, then your one of many.

Don't take this harsh or offensive in any way please.

Thank you and have a nice day!

The Thing I really work on this is THE STORY.

But what I also need would truly be a mapper! Are any1 out there willing to help mapping for this game! As Isaid this is the first RELEASED version for the game, so..

UPDATE: Story is re-written! Now it's more clear and not as much Cliché (lol).

I got a suggestion that could help improve the story a lot, why not change the swords into little elemental animals that are sacred and hold a bunch of power for you to manipulate, I thought this would be a good idea because I've heard people use swords, lances, stones, gems, but never little cute pets of awesome destruction, but this is just a suggestion...

Thank you and have a nice day!

Hehehhe sorry but this ist just a bizzare idea O_o no seriously, there will be no pets xD

I played the demo. What a mess.
You need to learn how to tell a story. It's all in the presentation.

Well learn me then! What? Why cant you tell how it all begun - story in the intro/beginning? :'(

Btw its not a demo, its full version, thet is my problem as it's written in the first post :'(

You start the game off with a backstory. A lot of games do this. But then all of a sudden for no reason you're on a map with these girls saying they are going to take a sword. And then they disappear. And then you find your freinds. And then you have go to a cave.
What the hell is going on? You have to stop and explain things.

You wrote all this information in your thread but non of it is actually in the game.

Shall I delete my intro backstory you mean? Well I thought I made it good, but I have a better option for an intro, not taking with these girls. But anyway, that is more boring, but maybe more appropriate. :)