Mother Gloria wrote:
actually american parenting is far from strict, unless your last name is chang, chong or something from the credits of an anime
i lol'd pretty hard at this, ty
American parenting is considerably weird as hell to traditional asians. You know about how asians have extended family and whatnot, aye? Well, it's generally accepted as fine if the child stays with the parents in adulthood, even considered good. My parents, in response to the plot of that movie Failure to Launch was total disgust, finding american/western traditions as strange, weird, etc. "You're kicking your own child out of your house" or whatnot.
yeah and i've heard that before from people. but you see enough lazy layabouts who do nothing to get out there in the world and COMPETE (which means they have a p good chance at ultimately failing at being a productive member of society), and it makes you realize that you can't just let a kid get away with that.
im not saying you abandon your adult kids. i got kicked out at 16 and life was really hard for me, and if i were any dumber or less lucky, i would have been pretty fucked. i'm just saying that you shouldn't take any of your kid's shit. if you feel confident that you did a good job at parenting, then they shouldn't have a problem flapping those wings and carrying off, barring medical issues or other special circumstances.
the frame of mind of "you should never try to force a member of your own kin to move out" is antiquated.
in "olden days", people would marry off their children at a certain age. this often meant (with varying degrees in global culture) that daughters would leave to join their new husband's family, and then the newly-wedded sons would claim some small part of their family's estate, property, land, or other assets. the sons would, in turn, help out on the family's farm/ranch/estate/business/etc., or earn money to keep the family going. The parents would not have to kick anyone out, because they would just marry their kids into no longer suckling off their dime, and adapt them into earners.
today, atleast in this country, you can't do that.
- parents can't ARRANGE marriages, they have to hope that their kids will figure it out on their own.
- most people don't OWN businesses, they WORK for businesses. Which means parents can't just bequeath a job to their kid. (plus it's the social norm to shun parents who try to plan out their kids' careers anyway, a STARK contrast from olden times)
- most people don't own large tracts of land or houses big enough to divvy up & accommodate so many people. parents can't just keep everyone around.
if i'm ever laden with a kid, i'll want to be laid back with them, sure. but not when it comes to letting them know that it's a dog-eat-dog world out there, and if they don't make a real attempt to succeed, they won't. and step one will be getting out of my damn house, lol :P.