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    action
  Mon Jul 27, 2009 4:35 pm
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Location: Woodbury, MN





OVERVIEW
This is the Development page for my 4th attempt at this game.
This is my 3rd attempt at making this game, which has changed stories 5 times, and had 3 names. It's hardly worth calling it the same game, but overall the games have kept a similar theme: corruption, a natural darkness, and the characters own psych.


STORY
Version 5
It's year 614, in Hitrea, island large enough only to fit a city, and 2 small suburbs. The island is the center of religion for the surrounding islands.
Asea, the main character of the story, is living day by day without much content. He has lived in comfort for all his life - his father a prominent church figure, going to a good school, food and shelter plenty. He was brought up a follower of the church by his father, and does not question his father's beliefs.
But when he meets a girl named Saika, who has a complete opposite view of the church, he finds himself following her into activism and eventually crime.
As the church's true colors are revealed, Asea digs deeper into the grounds of a plot that if not stopped, will destroy the world.



CHARACTERS
ImageAsea Lylle
Male
Playable Character
Personality: Unsure and in the middle between extra- and intro-vert; he is not very talkative, but does not shy out of a opinionated conversation.
Background: Brought up in comfort by his father alone. He has been taught to follow the church, his father being a prominent church figure. He has had no significant interests in his life, and is looking for something to do.
Abilities: Quick Learner



Image
Saika Müssen
Female
Party Member
Personality: Kindhearted, easily depressed, and attached. When she has an opinion, she does not back down on it.
Background: Saika has grown up supporting her own family, by working at the local pubb. She has always had a negative view of the church.
Abilities: Healer



Image
Brian Linger
Male
Party Member
Personality: Clever and smart mouthed. He's quick to talk, but not one to think. Often he is absent minded.
Background: Similar to Asea, he was brought up in a rich family. Asea and him were friends from an early age. He dreams of escaping his family and starting an entirely new life in another country.
Abilities: Trickster



Activist Characters
Leader(no name yet)
Male
Non-playable character, secondary
Personality: Leader of the underground activists group, he acts brave and tries to be a good leader in all ways...
but his inside personality contradicts. He is alone, feels no one understands him, and has no idea what to do at the time that is counts.
Background: Has been participating in underground activities even before the rise of the church, ever since he made the choice to leave his family,
which had abused him from a young age and did not want him in the first place.


Grunt(no name yet)
Female
Non playable character, secondary
Personality: Doesn't care for anything but her own opinions, but is a follower, because she is short of making good decisions.
Background: Not quite mysterious, she just avoids her past, not because it has been horrible though... She is good with the sword, and has a past in the sewers.


FEATURES
-CMS
-CBS
-Rewritten scenes
-Original Score
-Original Graphics
-10+ chapters
-5 islands, each with their own stories and subplots
-Custom skills
-Element Counters:
When you have one element that has more counters than the rest, it becomes your elemental. This effects your status in different ways such as:
Fire: Strength
Water: Health
ect
The effect depends upon the character, and what counters you have on. It also has the effect of the number of counters you have of the element, therefore:
3 fire counters = 3 times damage on ice, plus 1 elemental = 6 times damage on ice.
It will also effect different events, and unlock several puzzles.
-Skill Melee - Attack has been replaced with several skills, which can be learned, such as: Slash, stab, Multi-cut, punch ect. Basically a new Skill window to overwrite the basic Attack command in the battle system.


SCREENSHOTS
Image
Image
Image
barebone menu


OST


HELP?
Help is need in the following areas:
-Pixel art: Preferably someone good with larger stuff, like my sprites, or busts.
-Minimal Scripter: Small tasks, such as editing the CMS, CBS, and adding some functions to gameplay.
-Mapper: This is the most important job in this game - there are alot of places to go in the game, and I really really suck at mapping. I plan on getting better, but I still won't be able to do all the maps.
-Anyone who enjoys this game: All you need to do is reply with your thoughts or criticism, or add the userbar and link to your siggy if you like it. It's not an obligation, but it would be nice.

Thanks to:
Atoa for the great battle system!
Jonas Bredesen for composing a good amount of the OST
BlackMask for maps and map revising.
Tarranon for help with music composition

Special thanks to:
Samot - for supporting the topic, and my game! Thanks you so much!
Modesty (RRR) - For help with the original game, and for teaching me quite a bit about storytelling.

Extra Details - Government, stuff



-Action

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Last edited by action on Tue Jul 19, 2011 9:17 pm, edited 52 times in total.

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    Luthur
  Mon Jul 27, 2009 5:33 pm
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In order to have a topic here, you need at least two screenshots. Please read the rules.

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    action
  Mon Jul 27, 2009 8:09 pm
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Location: Woodbury, MN
There, two screenshots up for now. Sorry about that.

-Lonelyelf


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    action
  Thu Jul 30, 2009 8:24 pm
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Location: Woodbury, MN
Bump.
I've added a new screeny with the final message window system.
The menu is still under constrcution, but that'll be up soon.
I am hoping to have at least a 30 minute demo by the end of August.

System Feature Update:
Memory System. - All of your memories will go in a special inventory for later looks, like a diary. When you get a new, important memory, the memory window will slide in from the left and a message will say it is added. Screeny up soon.

Event Title - The logo slides in from transparent to opaque, and the Selections below it. A dark sky panorama is behind it with a quickly moving fog. Screeny will be up soon.

-Lonelyelf

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    action
  Fri Aug 07, 2009 7:28 pm
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Location: Woodbury, MN
New update. I've progressed a bit in maps and score, as well as a change in story.
Here are the main outside maps:
North(citizens residents)
Center(Church)
South(Market, stores)
East(Nobles residents)
West(Lake / Farms)
Northeast(School, Town hall, stores [citizens]
Southeast(Government/Castle)
Northwest(Mining)
Southwest(Farms, Peasants)
Ruins(South, North, and East)
Gates(Bridges to Floating Islands)
Floating Islands(Some are ruins, Some are nothing, one is important to the story [5, best places to sleep])

The inside maps are not going to be listed, but I will says that each building you can go in, and there is an underground, and a mine.

More updates soon. A demo is expected September 20th.

-Lonelyelf


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    archerRin
  Fri Aug 07, 2009 8:12 pm
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Location: Australia
Persona fan i'm guessing? :D
The story is interesting, art and mapping could be better. Gl with it.


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    Toams
  Sat Aug 15, 2009 10:57 am
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Location: Netherlands
LonelyElf wrote:
Custom Time System ( At a certain time, certain things will happen and are possible, and if you don't gt your character to a safe place to sleep [marked on the map by a symbol] he will faint, and wolves will attack, theives will steal from him, or he will be put in jail [minigame] depending on where he is.)

I really, REALLY like this. If you manage to pull this off I might just play the game just for this.. :thumb:

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    action
  Thu Aug 20, 2009 6:37 pm
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Location: Woodbury, MN
Thanks so much! I'm glad my game is getting some attention!
For now, it looks like I have about 32 citizens houses, a church, 10 or so shops, 10 or so Nobles, 3 Farms, 1 Cottages, 1 Hideout, 1 Castle, 1 School, and 1 City Hall. So Far those are the outside buildings.

Here's a map plan:
Image

Oh, and a new update to the CBS:
It's half ABS, Half SBS.
Your character is a normal sprite, and attacks like in an ABS, but you control him like in the SBS, openning the command window using the space button. More later, help with that would be great.

As well, as the CBS, I have a new feature, Multiple Currencies. Later in the game, you go to other islands, and have different currencies. If you know something for this, it would help alot.

Thanks,
Lonelyelf

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    action
  Wed Aug 26, 2009 5:30 pm
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Location: Woodbury, MN
Buh-bump.

I've settled down on an CBS, Atoa's CBS, but it crosses out all the scripts that use the SDK or the MACL. If you know of a better CBS that uses Ccoa's custom battlers, and is SDK and MACL compatible, please let me know.

No significant mapping progress, aside from a new intro. The character design is changing a bit in visual, asea now has a pack, and a different outfit. Upload later.

I need a pixel artist for Ccoa custom battlers!! Anyone who is willing to help with the making of this game and has some amount of pixel and spriting skills, please apply!

The menu system will probably fall back to a premade CMS like the One-Scene CMS, or the Ring Menu. One of the sort.

On the game story side of things, I have begun making a rough outline of the events that will take place. Asea will travel to several different floating cities, sometime after Chpt 5. There are thirteen chapters.

Lastly, I am sorting through my J-rock songs. Beware.

-Loenlyelf

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    action
  Sun Sep 20, 2009 10:02 pm
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Location: Woodbury, MN
Bump!
Jeez, that was a close one. Almost a month! Does everybody hate my game or what?
Well, only 6 days until I release my first demo, the Alpha Demo!!! It's an example of the gameplay, maps, and system. As well as the art, and a song or two.
I finally finished the new updated version of Asea, and am revising the story and plot - plus a new character! Yay!! *cough*
So, please help me out here, Kay? Don't give up on me. Post, reply, criticize, something. I don't care. You like my game - maybe LOVE it? - add the ad to your sig, or just a link will do. Sorry if I'm kind of demanding here...
My mapping sucks, as you will see in 6 days, so If there is a mapper with free time on their hands, could they revise my maps? That would be great!

I'm no longer sure about the Night/Day system, and I can't do the house system. So those features might be gone, but I've added the Atoa's CBS, with super-awesome battlers! ...
And the menu is the Sword of the Emperor III menu system.

That's all for now!
-Lonelyelf


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    action
  Mon Sep 28, 2009 2:14 am
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Location: Woodbury, MN
Bump
Demo... uhh was released. Yay... I's just an Alpha, so really all it has is the menu, battle, story, graphics, maps, and a few system related things... Please check it out. Please...
I added a new character to the game... Saika... She's a part of the underground activists group, and Asea likes her. Of course, Michael, and the Mysterious Girl* interfere.

*The Mysterious girl joins your party for most of the game. I have no name or info really, so the character will unfold throughout the game. She's a demigod relieved of her position and powers.

-Lonelyelf


Last edited by action on Tue Aug 23, 2011 11:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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    Toams
  Mon Sep 28, 2009 8:50 pm
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Location: Netherlands
heave ho. :D
Sorry for this weird reply, but I kindof feel sorry for you.. :grin: Though I've pulled myself out of the game making scene (don't have any time for it) -i still visit this thread once in a while because it pops up in my 'my posts' log thingy. Just wanna say: keep on going!, because the best part of making a game is when it's done :) Also I might check that demo some time (whenever I got some spare minutes), and give you a heads up on that.

As you were.

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    action
  Tue Sep 29, 2009 4:23 am
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Location: Woodbury, MN
Thanks! Glad someone cares! :smile:
I do have a mapper(pretty sure) so hopefully the maps won't suck so much anymore.
Other than that, I really have no updates. I would be glad if people posted a little here and there, but I guess I can live bumping till 2011... Well, the game will now include a bittersweet love story will murder!!! Yay! Hooray for lust!
In the game, you will later on vist the ruins of Earth the Holy Place - ahem - as part of the story progress, and explore the skies for floating cities. Yay for FF XII! Ahem... Pickpocketing does play a large role in this game, so I am looking for creative ways to include the system...

And for those of you who actually downloaded the Alpha, I'm so sorry! I understand that you are now depressed and crying yourself to sleep because I forgot to include random pictures of clouds! I feel so guilty. Lucky for you, I have a photobucket. Some pics will be up soon so you can indulge yourself in the beauty of cumulonimbus.

For now,
-Lonelyelf


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    action
  Mon Oct 05, 2009 3:07 am
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Location: Woodbury, MN
I'm starting to see little point in updating and bumping.
Maybe they should give me an award or something, for the most bumps in a topic. Really, count.
Well, I do have an update or two:
-I have a new EXPO AD for my game (don't mind the title, it just popped up in my head):
Image
A win on my case.
-I won't be updating anything for a month, so I'll just make a new topic to freshen things up, and clear out some junk. Right now I'm looking for inspiration, composing music, drawing, evning, scripting...
But really I'm just messaing around with my windows theme.
I have the desktop pic:
http://s592.photobucket.com/albums/tt5/lonelyelf/?action=view&current=desktop.jpg
It's the expo ad. Only bigger. Just make the desktop background white.

Please check out the Alpha, and support my game by adding the link or pic to your sig - or just by posting. Please, PLEASE, somebody post! Save me from this eternal pain, the dark space of my existence, the hollow face of my humanity, the little speck in our community I am.
Don't make me complete the poem. Reply.

-Lonelyelf


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    Lune de la Cruor
  Mon Oct 05, 2009 4:02 am
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I think the setting is cute. I like the floating city idea. I once played a game with a floating world on one of the older makers and it was quite nice, so I hope you can visualize some way nice too.
Right now you really need to improve your mapping. I checked out your demo and you have the typical open spaces syndrome! Waaaay too much space everywhere!
Try to shrink it together.
I think the corrupted church can be a nice idea, it's just a pitty you have the "all mighty object that grants phenominal powers" in your story. The story has potential and I don't know what it is, but I feel like there is something missing...
Maybe it's that your characters seem so seperated from the story.
One sentence is not enough information, especially when you have written 99.9% of the story already.
Oh, and don't give up on updating, just because no one posted! (People seem very lazy to post on project threads here, it's not you)
Good luck!

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    friend
  Mon Oct 05, 2009 1:53 pm
mmoooo
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Location: Malaysia
I don't know about you, but having this project open in the public is risky, especially when your directly referring to "God" and "the Church", instead, use another replacement, like "The Man in the Sky" or whatever, God just makes it sound like the priests are going to sue you.


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    action
  Mon Oct 05, 2009 9:08 pm
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Location: Woodbury, MN
Yay! A post from me that isn't a bump!
@Luny (heh heh)
Thanks for checking out the demo. As I said in my second to last post, I have a mapper on the job. The cure is here, folks. I haven't seen his screenies yet, but considering he hates my mapping, he probably is better than me.
I usually update the main post with story that pops up in my head, not pre-made. I'm going to revise it, and put it up again. I don't know yet, but I need something that adds to the plot. I was think the church wants Michael, and that would work... But for some reason, I wanted to change it. I think I should have not stopped my Concept thread...
As well as the revisement, I am working on the characters in OneNote, so they'll have more background, and stuff.
The floating city idea doesn't really contribute to the story very much, though I do agree with you. It does, though, when I get to he chapter with it-if you read he story, you should know.
@Goody
I have gotten this comment in all 4 of my games' versions, at most boards. I understand the religous mocks this story underlines. I am Catholic myself, so this is not an Atheist who is making some game to make fun of gods. No. This game has a new setting, and a different place than ours - the god doesn't have to be the same as the one worshiped in Christian religions. It is actually Multiple gods - a polytheist religion - only one has the highest power. Like ToS, or FF X. I can get into much deeper discussion, but I'll end it there. It's just not the same as christian.

That's it for now! Thank you both for replying! I will continue to update.

-Lonelyelf


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    Admiral David
  Thu Oct 08, 2009 2:42 am
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Location: Muldrow, ok / Phnx, AZ
just thought i'd say that if you need any of characters done in rtp style sprites i wouldnt mind doing a few since i'm taking a break from music and doing the same with my game at the moment, i'll read more of your thread when i get a chance but just keep at it, you need any music for this game at the moment? check out my music thread if your interested and i'll help out, good luck

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    Pokémaniac
  Thu Oct 08, 2009 2:02 pm
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Location: Australia
I downloaded the demo and quite frankly I was confused. It was all empty! It was just a heap of average maps with absolutely nothing to do. Did I download the wrong version?


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    action
  Fri Oct 09, 2009 11:11 pm
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Location: Woodbury, MN
@dsoulja
Sorry, I am not interested in your music. For now, I will continue with my own. I have decided to make this game Non-RTP, to exceed the limits of XP, so I won't need RTP sprites. Sorry.

@pokemaniac
You downloaded the right version. This is an Alpha Demo, mind everyone. This means all of the in game content is subject to change, little or no story is included, and only a concept is lay out. It's a walkaround demo, to be frank. Just to show the system, and maps. To try out the battle, go to the south, then more to the marketplace, then talk to the smaller girl towards the top. he bank is south of the center, one of the shops on the bottom, with a "G" sign. The menu is available, and if you're lost, mess around with the demo in RMXP. I dont care, since reall nothing will stay besides some system. Sorry if I confused you...

As I said before, this game is officially going Non-RTP!!!!!

That's right! Exciting, huh? It's not just gonna have some new crappy sprites on a ripped tileset. All art will be original, and more chibi syled ex:
Image
They'll be a little smaller, though.
The resolution will change, the window size too. The tiles will stay the same size, but objects are bigger and much better detailed.
Hurray for Non-RTP!!!

Keep the posts acomin'!
Thanks,
Lonelyelf


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    action
  Tue Oct 13, 2009 1:34 am
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Location: Woodbury, MN
Well, back to bumping, I guess.
As I said, and will several more times, WE ARE NON-RTP, leaving the whole XP RTP and system. So lots of help will be needed for pixel art:
-Icons
-Tilesets
-Battlers
-Sprites
-Busts
I have some one for some sprites, but cannot completely depend on them. If you are free, please consider contributing!
I changed around the plot and story a bit - I'm working on the revised version right now. I also made the first post more visually appealing - sorry I have no new screenshots yet, though. But considering that only the Alpha is out now, there isn't anything down in the concrete. Soon, I'll have the graphical resources up to look at (with watermarks, of course - I don't want people stealing my custom resources!!!)

I want to create a game that not just I will like, but many in the community.
So I was wondering if there is a system feature in a game you like, very much, and would like to see in this game? Like maybe a custom menu feature like settings, a battle system skill, or a map HUD that's useful; or maybe even something visually appealing, like animated idle poses, or a sparkly menu effect, or maybe even picture-backed windows.

I really like more depressing story-lines, and dark settings. Sort of like Quintessence, but really more like Fragile: Ruins of the Moon. I don't know why, just appeals to me. But later in the game, you will visit the ruins of the Holy Earth. The world's religion revolves around this. I will get into more detail as the game progresses.

On the main post, I have decided to split it in two - Simple, for quick stuff about the game for those who do not like reading long paragraphs, and the Detailed, for a more in depth story, background, and information. I really don't know if it would work though - tell me.

That's it for now!
-Lonelyelf

P.S. sorry I write so much ~ If you want shorter stuff, just tell me.


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    action
  Tue Oct 13, 2009 4:55 am
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Location: Woodbury, MN
Sorry for double-posting! I have some important updates:

-I figured out why everyone was being confused by the demo. I didn't have it start at the title!!! I uploaded the new one, fixed and all. Download link here, and in the main topic: http://www.4shared.com/file/140488694/f ... l_new.html


-I made some nice screenies for you guys! Check the main post.

- If you know of a reasonable RMXP resolution script, or a Game.exe rewrite (if it's legal) please tell me. I am looking into enlargement of the resolution and window size of my game's window.

Well, that's it for now,
-Lonelyelf


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    action
  Fri Oct 16, 2009 6:44 am
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Location: Woodbury, MN
72 Hrs! BUMP
...again...
I think I might just not updaye for a while, until I have a bunch of new stuff...

Good news!

-The original Asea sprite is near complete! Hooray! So, soon you will see NID's new style...
-I've got all the icons done! as well as updating the database...
-I am working on~ the GRASS TILE. Often pushed out of the picture as the most important tile in the game, it is also the hardest, to keep from pixel-repetitions. Iiiiih.... If you have a good tile, I would love to see it, to help with mine.
-I got the newest Atoa Custom Battle System (thanks Atoa!)... But it screwed up. So I might have to start over again with the customization.
-The new RPGDS has inspired me, so I am looking into some graphical stuff, and a few features...


And some stuff I need help with:

-If you know of a reasonable RMXP resolution script, or a Game.exe rewrite (if it's legal) please tell me. I am looking into enlargement of the resolution and window size of my game's window.
-Comments, Suggestions and Critique is COMPLETELY WELCOME! Please, reply with your thoughts.
-As I mentioned in the second to last post, I need everyone's help!
Quote:
So I was wondering if there is a system feature in a game you like, very much, and would like to see in this game? Like maybe a custom menu feature like settings, a battle system skill, or a map HUD that's useful; or maybe even something visually appealing, like animated idle poses, or a sparkly menu effect, or maybe even picture-backed windows.


That's it for now! I'll update somtime later, but will reply to any suggestions, critiques, or comments.
-Lonelyelf

(Writing in the dark is soooo haaard...... gah)

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    Tindy
  Sun Oct 18, 2009 4:59 pm
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Location: Pittsburgh
You wanted constructive criticism, here it is.

All right, first things first, I'm going to ask you what I ask everyone: What on earth does Japanese have to do with your game that you're using it for your title screen? You're using it incorrectly as well, by the way. What you have there says something more like "Night and also Day." Besides that, professional (Japanese) game makers generally wouldn't put the 'desu' at the end - it's too formal and makes it a statement, like a period at the end of a sentence.

Pet peeve aside, let me delve into your post. Frankly, the back story sounds quite interesting, but your wording makes it kind of confusing to follow. For instance, you said that the floating world has only been around for 600 years, but when you introduce the back story, you make it sound like it's been a lot longer. The way you've written the plot of the game, too, sounds incredibly bland, and you're assuming the average reader knows a lot more than they probably do. You talk about the main character and the 'mysterious girl' before actually introducing them, which is a turn off for most readers. Besides that, it's fairly confusing, if only because the details aren't very tangible. For instance, you say that besides undermining the church, your goal is to kill your father (which seems like it's not really important to the plot - unless his father is the high priest?) - but you say that Asea is an orphan! Mysterious Girl's profile irks me a bit. Not that more is revealed as you play - that's a given, really - but that you found it necessary to tell us that she "really ticks Asea off."

The sprites, however, look fantastic. They're absolutely wonderful, very professional looking.

You could stand to have more than two screen shots - some maps, perhaps? An example of the sprites in their native country?

As for the demo: (I'll just write as I go)

The title screen is fantastic. Looks very well put together. The window screen thereafter, though, is quite hard on the eyes.

I understand that this is purely a tech demo, but to be honest, it doesn't seem to be a tech demo at all - just an RMXP demo, really. There's nothing here (that I can see) that centers on your game, except presumably the layout, and there's nothing to really point out - you haven't even animated the fountains. There really doesn't need to be a demo at all, to be honest. Your maps are extraordinarily spread out and wide, and with no characters at all besides the player it makes it very much a hassle to actually get from here to there. You could cut down on the size by half and it would still feel spread out. In addition, the demo can't really even be called a "tech demo" at this point - seeing as it's completely RTP, and as you claim, you've made the move to non-RTP.

Ugh, the upper part of the map in particular is awful. Nothing but gray for blocks and blocks...

The bit on the left (once you've gone north to the new screen, and then west) has an issue with transportation. I'm completely stuck.

Consider the points I've made, if you really want more people to take a serious interest in your game. Like I said, the back story sounds really interesting - now it's just a matter of making the plot and gameplay excel.

EDIT: I just took a peek at your maps in the editor. You really do not need all that space - in fact, you barely need 1/3 of it.
EDIT2: For the houses, you don't need 9/10ths of that space. Please take a look at a mapping tutorial.

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    action
  Sun Oct 18, 2009 5:55 pm
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Location: Woodbury, MN
Thank you for your criticism. It was just what I needed.

Putting what you said about the plot in consideration, I am editing the revision of the plot. I won't put it up until I am absolutely sure it is better than the last... and has pleased the readers.
I do have a mapper on it right now, but the hasn't said anything for a while, and I wonder if he quit. But he himself said the same - the maps need to be much smaller. I'm not much of a mapper myself - things end up very basic and blocky - but I am reading some mapping tutorials. But there aren't very many I can find...
I have a WIP for Asea's sprite example:
Image
For now I just have to work on the pants, colors, and the hair outline. I recommend your right click it and select "View Image", so it looks better.

I don't think that I have the right name for my demo; it should be a Concept Demo.
It has all the concept maps, story, system, and graphics. It's not a tech demo, or a real demo with relation to the final game. In it, everything was subject to change. Really, there was little point to it, since it confused a lot of people. But it has a few things.

Revising is hard to do, without having to change the whole story - especially if you're like me, who has a new idea for a game everyday. So, on that note, the new plot won't be up for a while.

As for screenshots, I haven't gotten into much on the game's system since the demo. Mainly graphics, so there isn't much more to see. None of the sprites are real characters in my game - just examples because I didn't have Asea done. And as well, I still don't even have a grass tile that works, so it may be a while until I have a map screenshot.

But I will change the menu too, since it doesn't look as good as it used to. I think I will model it off of RPGDS' menu system, only with stuff on opposite ends.

Sorry, I just threw Night is Day into Google Translate, since I didn't know either word's kanji. If you know them, is there a better translation that is closer. For now, all I know how to is to remove the desu.

I am working on my game! No matter how slow this topic is, and how little updates I have, this game is still progressing. Thanks to Tindy, I can fix up a few areas that really were bugging people. I have gotten pretty far on my own, but I need help! I'm not that good at spriting, and it will be hard to transfer the 3/4 view sprite I have to RMXP as a spritesheet. I also need help with scripting. I am okay, to a certain point where I either have no idea what is worng, or what to do. So a scripter for revisions. As well, I need someone to wrie some music. I can't write it all, so someone to make minor songs would be great.

That's all I can say for now,
Lonelyelf

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    action
  Mon Oct 19, 2009 4:33 am
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Location: Woodbury, MN
Plot revision:

Asea has made a hobby of sneaking into the Steeple; always, he seems to find something new, and costly, every time. He didn’t expect any more, of course, since that is about all he has gotten out of the skill for the past few years.
But that was not the case with that night.
With those words, Asea is thrust into a new story. After the darkness arrives, Asea is killed by a demon, and revived by Michael, an angel without a body, who knows more about Asea than he does himself. As the story unfolds, his connections to the church, the earth, and the fate of the new world.
Not long after, Asea joins an underground Activists group, with the plan of bringing down the church. He makes several friends, and fulfills many quests. But his past continues to chain pull him back, with the many clouded memories he has, and those difficult to accept.
Alone, but with friends, Asea engages on his journey, trudging through the ruins of the past, and the doubts of tomorrow.

These plots are really hard to write. Sorry if it doesn't satisfy you... I removed and rewrote and added a bit.

I also updated the main topic and last post with the sprite, and the plot(main only)
I still need criticism, and if you could, some help with the plot. It is extremely difficult to rewrite these things.

Thanks,
-Lonelyelf

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Last edited by action on Thu Jun 23, 2011 6:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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    Tindy
  Mon Oct 19, 2009 9:46 am
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Location: Pittsburgh
Tindy wrote:
What on earth does Japanese have to do with your game that you're using it for your title screen?


You never actually answered the question. I'll tell you what you need to know, but be honest: Are you just doing it because "all the famous games have Japanese in the title"? You know that's because they're actually made in Japan, right?

Anyway: The issue with your wording is not the kanji but the "mo" in the middle. The "mo" means "and" or "also." What you want is a "ha" there - pronounced wa - to mean "Night is Day." (It actually sounds pretty cool in Japanese - yoru wa hiru but I'm not entirely certain that those are the kanji you want, anyway.)

夜は昼

The problem with using Japanese is that it's not just a simple translation - with kanji, there can be dozens of different ones that mean nearly the same thing, and likewise one that can mean dozens of different things. When you use something like Google or Babelfish, they're giving you what they have noticed means something. However, if you want it to translate "it kills me" (like laughter), it might give you "s/he kills me" - as in murder! And you really need to figure out exactly what you mean before hand. What is "day"? Is it the hours of sunshine? In that case you'll want to use 日照時間 (which means...daytime! And/or, the hours of which the sun is shining.) 日 also means day - though it's generally used with "one day" and "the first day (of the month) - its dictionary definition is "Day, sun, sunlight."

You can see where my pet peeve comes from I think, yes?

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    action
  Mon Oct 19, 2009 9:29 pm
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Location: Woodbury, MN
Reason I want it... Hmmm...
Nonick wrote:
Japanese letters: Yes/No (The letters will be meaningless, but it'll look cool :P.)

This can (sort of) explain why so many Americans want Japanese text in their logo. It has no point, but it adds to the title. I was hoping, that sometime after I have gotten somewhat reasonably into kanji (some 5 years or so), I would return to this project, translate it, and try it in the Japanese communities. Though it is still pointless. I suppose I could remove it from the logo altogether, since I'm revising it now. But, I need someone else's opinion.

And yes, I understand your pet peeve.
Thanks again for your help, and reply, Tindy.

-Lonelyelf

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    mawk
  Wed Oct 21, 2009 11:16 pm
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I haven't played it enough yet to give you a full runthrough of my experience, but I just thought I'd pop in and let you know that the pop-up messages are really unnecessary and annoying to click through. if you want to show a large amount of text onscreen, saving the text as a picture and using Show Picture ingame would be much more efficient than knocking the player out of his immersion and forcing him to click through a lot of little popup windows

and I agree that Japanese text really doesn't have a point in your logo. you said "it adds to the logo," but that's simply not true. getting rid of it'd probably improve the logo overall, if I think about it.

as a final note, it's kind of weird to have a cloud fog scrolling over another cloud fog (as in the title screen.) you might want to rethink it.

I'll come back later once I've actually played a decent chunk of the alpha

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    action
  Wed Oct 21, 2009 11:30 pm
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Location: Woodbury, MN
AYE! NEW SUPPORT USERBAR
Image

The old one was too big, so I made this one. Just put it in your sig and link to viewtopic.php?f=78&t=66344 if you wish to support my game.
I am messing around with the main post right now.
Tarranon is helping me with music composition. Thanks, Tarranon!
I still really need help! A pixel artist who is good with larger things, like the sprites I am using, and busts.
A minimal scripter as well, for editing the CMS, CBS, and adding some functions.

I am adding three new features:
-Command Memory - Kain Nobel, to remember the last action that you selected in battle.
-More Melee moves - Melee attacks will be acquired like skills. This removes the Attack selection in the menu command window.
-Materia System - I used this in my other attempt, and will again. You can add certain materia to boost stats for your character, or add attributes, like Pyro, or Aqua. The name will be changed, of course. Something different, but the same idea.

I don't think I have to wait 72 hrs to bump anymore. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Horray! Almost done. Critique it here.
Click the image to see it better.

That's it for now,
Lonelyelf

... Whoa, .ORG just told me I got a new post when I submitted this!

@mawk (hooray!)
I myself was rushing through this when I was ading the pop ups, since I didn't have time for another week. sorry about that. I promise that won't happen in any other demos.

The JP text is out of the picture, now. I am making a new logo, and it is not included.

The cloud fog is over a picture, to make it seem to move. It was to liven up the title, and in the new demo, will not be there, because a new background will be added.

Thanks for checking NID out, and the alpha, mawk!

-Lonelyelf

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